Friendship - The Difference Between True Friends And Toxic Friends
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Friendship and distinguishing the difference between true friends and toxic friends can be a big challenge. Toxic friends appear as wolves in sheep's clothing at the start of a friendship. Negative traits may be obvious, but we still miss the signs.
Friendship and what it means to be and have a true friend is actually a major topic of concern online. If you don’t believe it, just Google the word and see what you get. Friendship happens to be a highly searched word. Millions of people globally are looking to read information that will help them in their own friendship relationships.
Television Friendships
I believe that we learn to be friends from the friendships we are exposed to the most and those that we see around us. That includes television friendships.. These are the friendships we can all relate to. Society continually helps us formulate the kind of friend we do and don't want to be. Much of this is based on what we believe is true friendship due to our favoirte television friendships.
When you take some time and indulge your thoughts, you’ll discover tons of memories about your favorite television friendships, even the toxic ones. You’ll also notice something interesting. Quite a number of comical friendship episodes tend to center around a friend’s ability to give the right gift. Sometimes the comedy stems from getting no gift at all from friends, or at least that is what one friend may believe. Who of us doesn’t enjoy a good laugh looking at I Love Lucy episode, Friends of the Friendless? This is the episode when Lucy believes no one remembers her birthday.
think about who your favorite television friends are and why. That may give you some incite into why you view your own friends as either true friends or toxic friends.
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Signs of a True Friend
While’s it’s always nice to get jewelry and other gifts as a token of friendship, gift giving isn’t necessarily the sign of a true friend. It is more important to understand and recognize that both having and being a true friend is something that can’t be bought. Although there is giving involved, it is a different kind of giving. The kind of giving that lasts beyond the life of a friendship bracelet, or other token of friendship. Regardless of how thoughtful or expensive the gift, true friendship stems from showing genuine love and respect to those we call friends.
There are tons of web content writers providing articles about the topic of friendship. Besides the many great television shows and movies about friendships, you can find lots of awesome books. Some give us advice and useful information on dealing with friends and maintaining positive relationships. Some also give us tips on how to get out and stay out of toxic type friendships. Then again, some are just some really fun and interesting stories about the joys of being friends.
Links to Friendship Articles
- Traditions and patterns of Friendship bracelets
Friendship bracelets are not like other bracelets which are worn as a fashion accessory. These bracelets are special bracelets which are given from one to another as a sign of companionship. These are available in markets in readymade shape and are g
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Hi Katy, Thanks for commenting. I'm sorry to hear about your dilemma. I can't imagine why someone would just behave like that, unless maybe the person has something else going on in their life that they're not particularly proud of. If so, perhaps they're worried about being exposed or being judged.
I'd think long and hard about whether or not I wanted to put my feelings out on a limb for someone I haven't been around in a while. This may be the best time for you to walk away. Then again, it depends on the depth of the initial friendship. If you feel it's worth trying to rescue, go for it! Good Luck, and keep me posted.
Sounds like your "friend" may also be a female narcissist.
There is a saying that comes to mind:
"It isn't necessary to extinguish the other fellow's candle in order to let your own light shine."
Your description of this person is RIGHT ON TARGET! Thanks for the response.
hei, im having a dillema, and i can really relate to your past situation with trina. if you can help me that will be great.. i have a friend who i just met a year ago, she is my classmate. everybody likes to be with her because she is fun to be with, but being with her all the time makes me feel miserable and i dont know if i have the problem or if its her. im a shy person and i have a few close friends, while she can almost name every person in our school. the thing is, i hate it when she makes fun of many things about me, like the way i walk or my laugh or my perfume or when i mispronounce things. its a miserable feeling i keep having right after she does that. i cant fight her cause she insault me using jokes and it would look like im killjoy or over reacting if i do. im really miserable, plus, i really am a scaredy cat, even when i really try my hardest i just find it hard to say "just back off".. pls help
Hi Angel, sorry to hear about your problem, and this person certainly sounds toxic! The thing I heard in what you said, however is that this person is a classmate. If you don't even consider her a friend, girl don't worry about it. Just steer clear of her. It's bad enough when someone we really care about makes us feel this way, because our feelings are vested in it, but if you don't even really care about this girl, it's not worth you stressing.
You sound like a nice, sensitive young lady who doesn't like confrontation and there is nothing wrong with that. If you can't bring yourself to say something to her, just stop hanging out with her, and those who SEEM like they want to be with her. It may be hard at first, but not only will you feel better for it, but you'll probably find some TRUE friends in the people who feel like you about the person, they just don't want to say anything.
Hope this helps, and please know that it is just my humble opinion, but no one should have to have their esteem torn down in this way. You deserve a TRUE FRIEND! Good luck.
hey first..im dating a girl for like one year and half everything is going great thank God but everytime we go out we face the same problem my gf friend everysingle time we go out she tells us that we leave her alone and go have fun altho we always tell her to come sit with us ,,btw that girl is my gf's best friend ..like what can i do to let this stop in my mind i was thinking if she's a real friend she would let her bff have fun cuz i think real friendship is caring about your real friends not urself sometimes she tells us to go and have fun and eveything is cool and after we listen to her and go out and have fun she comes later like you left me alone and i really dont wana make them lose each other but my gf is starting to hate her for her rudeness duno what to do,i used to help this girl alot in everything but she's not really helping us :/ what do you think i should do?? and btw we can't go out unless she comes with us cuz my gf parents wont allow her to go out alone so either we solve the problem between us or i wont go out with her its not about going out tho its about them i dont want them to hate each other ..anyways thanks:)
Greetings everyone,
I appreciate your comments and I enjoy hearing your views.
AHMED: If I were you,, Id try to bring along a friend of my own to keep your girlfriend's friend occupied. Maybe that will heep her out of you guys hair. Good Luck
Hello charm_baker,
I came across this article of yours while contemplating the true meaning of the word "friend"—I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said.
I've always considered it extremely important that before one goes out "seeking friends," one must know- and understand thyself first: you know who you are and what you stand for.
Whenever I'm asked if I had a best friend, my answer would be: "Yes, I have a best friend...and I see him everyday whenever I look in the mirror." If one can't be friends with oneself, then how can one be friends with others? No, I'm not referring to narcissistic self-love; I love myself but I'm not in love with myself. :-)
My point is this: we all have sets of values and principles that serve as a template for our daily lives, and with that we develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and what we believe in. I, too, do not throw around the term "friend" loosely. For me, friendship—like trust and respect—is something earned, not sought.
I also stand firm in the belief of treating people the same way I want to be treated: with courtesy and respect. I may be acquainted with someone at school or work or wherever, but it takes time for real friendship to blossom.
Real friendship is time-tested. Real friends enrich your life; fake/fairweather/sham friends drag you down 6 feet under. Real friends are real; acquaintances are, well, acquaintances; and fake/fairweather/sham friends are leeches that you suck you dry.
But it all goes back to the individual, what he/she believes in or stands for. If one really cares about sincere, genuine friendship, then that's what one gets. And if one cares more about "having as many friends as possible," then one shouldn't be surprised to be surrounded by snakes and rats.
Thank you.
Thanks for your article -It really helped. I just had a disagreement with a friend because my husband and I messed up and didn't know passports took so long. When I told my toxic friend-she immediantly started calling me curse words saying I was lazy and unmotivated. Then when she asked if i was offended-yelled at me for not knowing "that is her way". She went on to write nasty things about me on facebook that were highly personal-All because I left her house saying I didn't deserve to be treated this way. I know with every cell in my body, being done with her is the best thing that could have happened.If I miss my trip because of the passport- at least I lost a toxic friend!
Well ok. This girl and I have been friends since i was 5. I always felt like i can only trust her with certain things. I always felt she was talking about me to someone else. I kept being her friend because I thought everyone felt like they were being talked about or couldn't trust their "friend" with certain things.
But anyways, She started changing and I noticed it but delt with it. She started acting different infront of different people. It started bothering me so i eventually cut her off my "friend" list because only a fake person would change for someone or many people. After a long period of time we hung out together and I noticed that she changed in a good way, like grew up. So I started to hang out with her again. I still have the trust issues with her and still think that she talks about me to other people, but than I just think its all in my head.
She isn't talking to me like that anymore because of a "boy". The one thing that I hate. I always told her that I would never ever let a boy get in the middle of a friendship because they come and go. He always flirted with me and tried to get with me, but I wouldn't get with him because I was able to tell that she liked him. I would constantly ask her if she liked him and she would say no we are just friends. So I would flirt back. Well this boy, her, and I all hung out one night. Him and I would flirt here and there but I would make sure she wasn't left out of the circle. She started getting mad and I could tell. So I would just hang out with him as a friend. We all hung out another night and she finally admitted to liking him. He said he liked us both but I told him he can get with her becuase no matter what we are all going to be friends, but I'm not going to get with him after he gets with her. He said he wanted to be with the one that won't do him dirty. Even though I know that she "gets around" I told him either of us. He ended up hooking up with me. I didn't hear from her for a while and know that shes always with him. I called her not that long ago to ask her if shes mad at me she said no, she was drunk she don't even like him. Now when hes around she don't want anything to do with me. I'll call her to see if she wants to hang out and she gives me an attitude. She always gave me an attitude when she was around other people until I gave her one back. The only way she starts being nice is when I give her an attitude back. She doesn't call or anything anymore. I am letting it go but I just want to know if she is a true or toxic friend. It's really bothering me I guess because I started to trust her "again". A friend that doesn't want you to hang out with her and someone else because the guy that "is just a friend to her" likes you?-- toxic or true?
By reading this again I think she is toxic. It's just really bothering me and I don't want to believe it. I don't know what it is. Shes always introduced me as her cousin the only one she trusts. I just always got this bad vibe from her. Now that this guy came around and they are just "besties" I barely hear from her. Any advice?
Hi there,
It seems that even when we don't mean for the opposite sex to get in the way of a friendship, it can happen. I question the extent of your friendship to begin with, because if we're good friends and I like a guy, you're going to be the first to know it. You're going to be the one I go to for advice on how to snare the guy. So what's up with all the "he's just a friend" crap anyway? It seems like you are not the only one with trust issues about this friendship.
As I mentioned in one of the other articles, related to friends, if you really care about the person, try and sit her down to confront all the issues, starting with why you feel you can't tell her everything. From there, maybe you can address the other issues. If it's gotten to the point where you seriously don't care, leave it alone. It will only create chaos in your own mind, and make you second guess yourself. Good luck girlfriend. I hope it works out. KEEP US POSTED!
Thank you Charm_baker. I talked to her and we worked it out. She said she just thought that it was weird that she said she didn't like him and she started to and didn't want me to think she was a liar. We've all been hanging out. Things are going great. Thank you
Hi Eri - I'm truly glad things worked out for you. I know how hard it can be to have a friendship in jeopardy when all you want to do is have things straighten themselves out so you can keep your friend. Good luck to you both, and remember to always try to talk things out before they get out of hand or weird. You're friends, so you should be able to confide in one another, no matter what. That's what it means to be a real friend. TTFN
Hi anyone plz help me i have a male friend starting i believed him a lot but he cheated me by giving my no to some bad guys those guys troubled me a lot for few days then they kept quiet..bcz of ma frnd it happened..now he is telling tat sor i want to become ur frnd...but i dont know whether to accept his friendship or not..again of he will cheat me means i will feel very bad..plz tell me..
Hi Anjana - not sure if I understood the exact problem. I think you're saying the "friend" gave your name to some bad guys who wanted to do you harm? Now you're wondering if to trust this person? If that's the question, just based on the little bit of details you gave, I'd say NO! If this guy set you up, leave him alone, he doesn't sound like a true friend. Of course, that's just based on the skimpy details you give. GOOD LUCK!
So my best friend just met this new friend. Let's call the new friend Kayla. So I've known my best friend for 1 1/2 years and Kayla's only known her for 4 months. Well Kayla is now stealing my bestie away from me. Whenever I'm talking to my best friend, let's call her Jane, Kayla is always interrupting. Kayla even gets mad when I have lunch with my best friend! So I would really like to hear what you have to say. Thank You
Hi Sophia - I'm just sharing my thoughts here, like I invite everyone to do, so please listen to the comments here and take them with a grain of salt. Only you know the true extent of your friendship because you've spent the actual time with that person. Comments are based on the short, one-sided view that we get here, so that's what everyone responds to.
With all that said, my question to you is: Is she really stealing your bestie, or are you simply not willing to share? If "Kayla" is nudging you out of the picture, that's one thing. If you're just refusing to accept her into the group and you're nudging yourself out of the picture, you have to be honest with yourself about that. That's not to say there's anything wrong with your not wanting to bring Kayla, or anyone into your friendship with Jane. Not wanting share the time the two of you spend hanging out is a lot different from expecting her to hang out only with you, all the time. You get where I'm coming from?
I love this hub. I have just written an article about negativity in friendship/work situations and how best to deal with them. It's always good to have someone else's thoughts on this. At work, there is so much negativity flying round, and people are finding it hard going what with a bad economy and job losses etc. The morale is low. Work is hard. I went on a course today on How to Manage Negative Situations and Comments With Assertiveness. It really helped me to realise that there ARE ways out there to deal with things positively and I feel I can change the way I choose to respond to negative influences around me in a positive way. I liked your article! :)
I left the negative,toxic people alone. The instant it happened,my life took a turn for the better.
Toxic friends will make you toxic also,don't let it rub off on you. Get away from them before it's too late.
If you don't want to be negative or toxic,stay clear of people with those traits.
Great hub,voted up!
hi there i got this new friendship.when ever i go and see her we get mad ever time we tark i got so made whth her 3week a go i try to end the friendship she did what this to happen i have try ever thin to make this friendship to work i like her a lots but she tell me we are only friend that was fine with me but now i see her less we use to sms but now then no sms i know she has airtime i will sms her now i dont get sms from her i think about her all the time i dont know what to do in the friendship do i end it with her or do i tark to her about the friendship i what to show her who her best friend is how do i do this do i stay away from her for a long time what do i do pls i need help al
KATY 2 years ago
MET AN OLD FRIND FROM HIGH SCHOOL. HAD SO MUCH FUN TOGETHER, TALKING, REMINISCING. GOING OUT TO DINNER. EVEN GETTING TOGETHER AT A GYM AND SWIMMING.
HER SISTER DIED LAST WEEK AND I CAN UNDERSTAND SHE FEELS VERY SAD. I EMAILED HER TWO POEMS THAT I WROTE TO COMFORT HER SOMEWHAT.
ON A CALL LAST NIGHT SHE TELLS ME,I WILL NOT BE HEARING FROM HER MUCH. I KNOW PEOPLE PICK AND CHOOSE FRIENDS BUT THIS WAS SO OUT OF THE BLUE. I GUESS I HAVE TO LET THE FRIENDSHIP GO. BUT IMPOSSIBLE TO UNDERSTAND HER MOTIVE AND FEELING HURT.SHOULD I ASK HER, OR DO YOU THINK SHE MAY NOT TRULY UNDERSTAND WHY SHE MADE THAT CHOICE. WHEN I FIND A FRIEND I CAN ALWAYS FIND SOME TIME TO SHARE,NO MATTER HOW BUSY. I'M WONDERING IF THIS WAS JUST A LET ME CHECK YOU OUT VISIT THANKS